"Vigil" by Jo Johnson

Jo Johnson is a musician and composer of highly emotive and expressive ambient electronica. I came into contact with Jo in 2023 after talking to her creative partner Hilary Robinson about their beautifully haunting song "Maze Echoes". 

In 2023 Jo released solo work titled The Wave Ahead. Exclusive to the digital release of this album is a track titled "Vigil", which was included in episode 12 of _____ mood. 

The first two minutes of this song nearly brought me to tears when I first listened to it. I hadn't felt this sad in response to music in a long time. Although I am often asking artists about their songs and if they would like to share the story behind or underneath them, "Vigil" really made me wonder. It felt so sad, so heavy. There was no behind or underneath to this piece. It felt thorough, whole, through and through. What was this about?

Luckily Jo took some time to explain it to me – and you. 

As you'll read below, she's interested to know what you think when listening to "Vigil".

Thanks for reading and listening.

Is "Vigil" for someone or something in particular?

Yes, this track is dedicated to Sarah Everard, who was raped and murdered by a serving British policeman in March 2021, during the lockdown. It’s also for the amazing women who held a vigil for Sarah soon after, they went through hell and I’m grateful to them for making a stand and taking that risk. So "Vigil" honours them and remembers Sarah.

It’s impossible for me to describe the type of rage and sorrow that I think many of us felt in the UK at that time. Not only did the police attempt to dismiss this as a one-off, saying the policeman was “bad ’un”, to quote the commissioner. They roughly broke up the vigil and arrested women who were peacefully protesting. It was all so horrific, so unsurprising and so avoidable and there was no sign this would ever lead to vital systemic change.

I started work on "Vigil" as the story was evolving and new revelations were emerging, like the fact that Wayne Couzens, the policeman, was known as ‘the rapist’ by colleagues and that women had made complaints about him for years.

I remember feeling incredibly frustrated with the naivety of the public who were so shocked that a police officer could do something like this… Most feminists could tell you the police are sexist and misogynist (and racist and homophobic) – it’s the worst kept secret. I only spent a few hours working alongside police in the 90s (I was a volunteer with a domestic violence charity) and I managed to overhear their dehumanising, misogynist ‘banter’ – they were laughing about a female victim’s naked body – which they made absolutely no effort to hide from me. Quite the opposite, I think I was meant to hear. It probably gave them a power trip because they knew my complaint wouldn’t go anywhere.

So that’s the background to the title "Vigil," but the music came first – I prefer to play and see what happens; find out what’s on my mind. Creating music through improvisation can show me what I’m feeling or sensing, rather than the other way around. Feelings are complicated but so much music oversimplifies them. We rarely feel one thing at a time, and sometimes we have conflicting feelings about the same thing. It can be hard to accept what we feel, we might be ashamed to acknowledge it. So it might be multi-layered; we have feelings about a feeling. Or it’s multi-temporal – what we feel today lies on top of a past feeling, a memory from a different time in our lives. There’s also that great synesthetic quality to music, especially electronic music, where it can emulate the effects of the physical and visual senses – textures, temperatures, colours etc. Letting the subconscious loose through improvisation helps me explore more complex, layered feelings and sensations. And when I was writing "Vigil," it was obvious early on that this was an expression of my feelings about Sarah Everard’s story, the vigil and the public conversation.

I’m interested to know what other people think about if they listen to "Vigil". I hope they find it cathartic and energising. For me, it has this oppressive weight to it but also an upward momentum – like lifting a heavy load.

That's a really good point about rarely feeling one thing at a time. This song really stood out for me and perhaps it's related to that – moving through or grappling with various emotions. "Vigil" seemed different than the other songs on The Wave Ahead – I realise it's exclusive to the digital-only version of the album. It's incredibly sad, the first two minutes feel so heavy. I hadn't felt this sad in response to music in a long time. This seemed remarkable given I had no context for the song. Now that you've revealed the context of this work, it all makes sense. The story of Sarah Everard, and what happened to the people who held a vigil for her, is indeed incredibly sad and infuriating. 

It is. But I'm sorry for making you feel so sad, Wendy! I definitely don't want to exploit my own or other people's difficult experiences. You know... hit their buttons to get likes or sales. I think a lot about trauma and recovery, trauma and music, and about the potential for healing for the artist and the listener. As Pauline Oliveros said, "Being heard is healing." Making music enables us to be heard but, ideally, the listener can feel heard, too. It's an exchange.

The songs of The Wave Ahead all have an open feel, some have a playfulness to them. A more general question about the collection is how the project came about for you?

I was just thinking the same thing! The EP as a whole does have a playful feel. I think that's a result of the length of time it took me to pull it together, so there are tracks made during the pandemic restrictions and others when things had opened up. "Orbit" definitely has a sense of play, it reminds me of birds swooping and diving, flying just for fun. We were coming back to earth from the emptiness of space, back to earth's atmosphere. 

So, the background to the project is that Mysteries of the Deep are a Brooklyn collective started by Grant Aaron, and they’ve been running this great mix series since 2012. I’m a fan. They’ve produced around 150 episodes, with mixes, live sets and improvisations by some great people. In 2017 they launched a record label and began holding events in Brooklyn, all in the same kind of musical space – the middle of the Venn diagram of techno and ambient.

Grant got in touch with me in 2014, after my first album Weaving came out and asked if I’d like to record a mix for the series. Weaving was on another amazing American label, Further Records, and that probably helped to put me on the radar for a few people in the US in this techno/ambient kind of scene.

I was totally up for the mix but I spaced out on a lot of really good opportunities at that time due, if I’m honest, to some classic self-sabotage. Luckily Grant got in touch again when Mysteries got their label up and running and invited me to release with them. Slowly The Wave Ahead came together, and I finally completed my mix.

It’s been a great collaboration, Grant and Oliver were patient and understanding but also made me feel that they wanted it to come together, which is perfect. Last year, Mysteries invited me to play in Brooklyn, which was so special! It was a wonderful atmosphere and the whole team was great. Candace Price is the visual artist behind the label and it’s her art on the cover of The Wave Ahead. She created hours of insanely good visuals for the event, which she mixed live in response to the music. Just stunning.

Thank you to Jo for taking the time to re-visit and explain the impetus for "Vigil". 

Thank you so much for inviting me, Wendy. I really appreciate you playing and asking about "Vigil".

You can hear Jo's other work on her Bandcamp page, including exclusive subscriber-only releases like her tribute to Delia Derbyshire written for Sonic Commune at Corsica Studios (2021), studio improvisations and live performance recordings.